I Could Use One of These...

Lately, things have been not so well. It seems I have been doing things wrong, being very forgetful and can't seem to control my temper. It's almost as if I'm losing my mind. No, I have definitely lost it. I find myself missing out on things that I want to do and honestly, I can't find a good excuse for it.

A dear friend told me that I am doing too much. I use all my energy to help others and I don't have time for myself. It's drained me. I knew she was because I started to cry. I knew in my heart she hit the nail and I lost it. I know I get over my head and try to do everything that people ask me to do. And I do it, because I don't want to disappoint them. Even now I feel I have let down people because of my behavior. I'm sorry for that. Maybe it's because I'm asking for a little sympathy and I want someone to talk to me. Even if it seems I don't want to.

I believe things will get better as April approaches. My extracurricular activities won't be as time consuming and I will have a chance to recuperate. I miss what it feels like to not have a structured schedule. To not having to worry about what it is I have to do the next day or where I have to be. It would be nice to look at my calendar and have nothing on it. Most of all, I miss doing spontaneous things with my friends. That, is what always makes me happy.